So This is Christmas...

I love listening to this song by Mr. Lennon every Christmas.  Always makes me think about the past year's events and places things into perspective.  There was a point tonite where the song entered my head and I just said, 'Wow, that's it!' to myself.  Several weeks ago I wrote about how Christmas just wasn't going to be the same this year in New Orleans.  It's about 30 minutes before midnight on Christmas Eve and I'm correct thus far, at least personally.  However, I'm not sad.  It's just different.  I've seen tears on my mother's face throughout the day, but I'm not so sure they were tears of sadness.  I think they were tears of joy for all that she has.  The circumstances of late have brought things into perspective and I think that she's happy for all she does have.  I've seen my dad's head drop a few times and I grabbed his neck to try massaging some comfort into him.  I think just having my brother and I in town helping him do things is all he needs though.

My family and I went to mass tonite at 6 like we do every year.  I'm not devout Catholic, but I was raised in a Catholic family and schools my whole life until college.  I call myself 'Catholic by default.'  For those of you who aren't Catholic, there is a point in the celebration when congregants are to offer peace to one another.  The action basically consists of shaking someones hand and/or kissing and saying, "Peace be with you."  I attended mass regularly until I was 17 at the request of my parents and I have never seen what I saw tonite.  After offering peace to my family, I looked up to take notice of the members still doing so.  Almost in unison, I noticed congregants bodies all drop their hands on the pew backs in front of them and breathe sighs of relief.  It was so uncanny that it took me by surprise.  I did a double-take on my parents and the next five rows or so in front of them.  Everyone did it and no one seemed to take notice of the others doing it around them.  It felt like the past four months of stress and angst had just been released onto the world.  People were so relieved to physically touch someone that had the same emotions they did.  It took my breath away to see so many people from the same area seemingly in sync with one another.  It was touching and vivid.

It really doesn't feel like Christmas around here still.  It's sixty-five degrees and humid.  Our annual party was just a few family members about sixty less than we usually have.  It was nice just different.  I've spent all of three hours shopping this year.  Two and a half of which were done online.  I spent thrity minutes in a mall and felt physically sick.  I've had three other friends tell me the same.  Something is just off and shopping seems unimportant.  This probably doesn't hold true as much for families with kids.  My sister and brother-in-law have two younger kids and I'm glad they are sleeping here to celebrate Christmas morning.  We need some young innocent smiles around.

Christmas 2005 in New Orleans is just going to be a day that provides an excuse for a family to sit down and be with one another.  That is fine...different, but fine.  I guess every other Christmas used to be a chance to get excited about what we bought one another.  We haven't had much time lately to just 'be' with our family.  Other than for the two kids, there won't be many presents.  That's just fine.  I dont' want anymore 'stuff.'  I want to see some smiles around here.  I want to feel some joy transmitting from one body to the next.  I hope we spend more time chatting and watching the kids playing than tearing paper.

Comments

[T]

C-
Once again your writing skills have moved me. Merry Christmas Mr. L

[Sheley]

Christien,

I know so well where you're coming from. Like many of my friends and family, I wasn't as excited as in past years. After going through this experience, Christmas seemed unimportant. I am grateful I got to spend my time with my family in Virginia, though.

Just so you know, I got the chills when I read the part about everyone at mass. All we have are our friends and family to help us through it all. And only the people that went through it truly understand.

Hope you and yours have a Happy New Year!