My Black Friday

Black Friday is famously known as the day after Thanksgiving melee of Christmas shopping sprees. Even though it sounds like a doomed day, it is meant to be a win-win for everyone involved. Shopper save some cash on all their gifts, and the retailers go from red to black.

For some of us, this day is a real day of relaxation; since, for some, the Thanksgiving can involve lots of traveling, organizing children and fake socializing with family members. It can be exhausting. The weekend from Thursday through Sunday is downright a great football weekend. For my family, it was nice as we saw the LSU Tigers knock off the Arkansas Razorbacks and the New Orleans Saints once again dominate the Atlanta Falcons. However, the team that inspired me the most on that weekend was my family.

For what seems to be about the tenth time in the past fifteen months, we came together to help one another get through a difficult time. The task at hand that week was the help my parents move out of the house in which we spent the past twenty years of our lives growing up. The house had become exactly what my parents had wanted it to be. It was an open house where everyone was always welcome. It was a place that their children and friends would always feel they had a place no matter how far from they were. While it was something that was going to happen in the next three to five years, the sudden forced nature of the sale left a bittersweet taste on all of our palettes. The original plan was for my parents to build a smaller house on a nearby lot and then sell the current house as the time came. Hurricane Katrina has given us so many reality checks and this is just one more.

So many times we think we can control what goes on in the day to day. The more I look back at what has happened, the more I think how ridiculous this notion is. I think the only thing we really might be able to control is our character development which is built on our reaction to life’s unforeseen circumstances. It’s like my friend Ian says, “Everything happens for a reason so why worry?” Soon after the Hurricane, I even called Ian out on it because I couldn’t understand why all these things were just ‘meant to happen’ to my family, friends and all the good people of New Orleansthat I knew. I felt bad for putting Ian on the spot as I did. It wasn’t the right move, but I did make an effort to heed his word. While I think it’s oversimplified, many have dispersed this knowledge. As a man, I can tell you that this advice you used to literally make me angry. My older sister, Chenae, would always throw that at me…especially after breaking up with a girl. Something I’ve noticed in my years on this earth is that men usually need a reason (logic) to believe something more than women. Women are much better with faith than we are. I guess this leads men to the false notion that we actually have a huge say-so in what goes on in our lives. Anyway, after things had settled a bit last year and had some actually time to truly reflect, I started to realize maybe there is something to that way of thinking. I still worry often about things (because I think too much anyhow) but nearly as much as I used to do.

One of the good things that have come out the whole situation is that it has made us all less selfish and more appreciating of what we have. I think before the storm we (the kids) were secretly selfish in not wanting to see the house we grew up in taken from us. We would listen to my parents talk about how it would just be too much house to take care of without help, etc.; but I’m not quite sure we were really listening. Well, we were after this whole ordeal. If selling the house is what it was going to take to release unnecessary stress from my parents’ lives, then so be it. I think it was the toughest at times on my younger sister, Caitlyn, because she is the last one fully living under my parents’ roof; so on top of dealing with the job of being a senior in high school she had to deal with not knowing where she’d be sleeping. I can definitely appreciate her situation. If there was some family badge of courage, I would probably give it to her. I’m sure she still had the typical teenage hiccups with my parents, but I know for many kids they may not have been able to handle everything with the temperament that she displayed.

It was odd sitting down for dinner at Thanksgiving knowing that it would be the last time we all got together for a meal or holiday in that house. I could see the emotion in my parents’ eyes as they noted how grateful they were that everyone was back together in on e house one last time. The majority of my family lives nearby, but Cole is at LSU and I now live in  Atlanta ; so it’s rare that we are all together at once. I saw my father’s grasp on my mother’s shoulder tighten as he spoke. Little things such as that always seem to get to me. It amazes me that so much emotion can exist in such a little physical motion.

The move took place over a five day period. The goal was to squeeze about 8,000 square feet of house into 3,000. For one of the few times in my life, my dad told me that he didn’t have a backup plan. My dad is “Mr. Backup Plan.” On top of everything else, this left a dangling stress over everything else that was to happen over the next week (moving to closing). It was, I guess, the same as any other family move…highly stressful because there is so much to move in so little time. My parents could take their time unpacking, but the packing is the pain and it’s usually the little things that hold things up. As we moved boxes in, the house began to seemingly cave in. It was definitely going to be a lifestyle adjustment for everyone. It’s going to take awhile to get a lifetime unpacked. Again, Caitlyn would have the most to adjust to after all is done.

For the rest of the crew, it shouldn’t be that hard. My older sister has her house in town. I guess Cole and I will just have to fight for the one extra bedroom when we’re in town. So basically that means I will be on the couch, since he has about 5 inches and 100 pounds of muscle on me. My dog, Wyatt, will be in his fourth place in the past year. I think he’s good as long as he gets scratched periodically and the treats keep flowing.

I think for my parents they’re glad it’s over. It’s so bittersweet because I’m sure they would’ve like to build a smaller house than just move. They still will build the house but it may take a little time now. As I said, they would’ve just preferred to do things on their own terms.

The movers were there all day Tuesday to help move the big stuff and boxes we’d packed. I touched down in Atlanta around eight that night. I spoke to Chenae. She said several friends came over to help my mom finish up all the little things. I think there may have been a few tears shed between friends. I’m so grateful for the great friends we have…thank you. You made our lives easier and more fulfilling.

My parents closed on the 30^th. I’ll be driving home from Atlanta for Christmas and it will be to a different house…weird. I have another friend who told me how fun it is to begin new traditions. I’m looking forward to seeing the next major chapter in our lives unfold!

Comments

[Rachel]

You are right the only things we control are our reactions and the choices we make after the bad stuff comes and goes. It has taken me about 5 years to grasp this concept, but I finally got it. I also still think way too much, and I worry, but I eventually remind myself that I can control only me.

Great blog!

[COLE]

Dude my bed is the same size of my new room, im sure we can share. IF that is not to gay for you(just kidding)!